AL CAPONE DOES MY SHIRTS by Gennifer Choldenko

This story takes place on Alcatraz in 1935 (yes, we're still in the 1930s). Moose and his family live on Alcatraz along with Machine Gun Kelly and Al Capone. The warden's daughter is out to get everyone, and usually succeeds. Moose tries to navigate life on the prison island while trying to protect his older, autistic sister.

This story is told in first person, present tense, a challenge the author more than lives up to. Here's an excerpt:

"What's the inside of a cell house look like?" the fat kid asks.

"I've never been in there," I say, "but my dad says the cells are like cages. Each one has a toilet, a sink, a bed and a man."
"What about the electric chair? Anybody seen that?" a girl wants to know.

"How about them firing squads?" The fat kid is turned all the way around in his seat.

"This is the United States of America-we don't have firing squads," I explain.

"Yeah, that's not how we knock people off here. We fry 'em. I've read all about it. It's like this..." A skinny kid shakes all over to demonstrate.

"What about the metal bracelets...you know, handcuffs and whosey whatsits on their legs?"

"I think maybe they just wear them for, you know, special occasions," I explain. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Pipr talking to Del. If he goes for this, everyone else will too.

"So, what happened?" Scout asks.

"With the shiv in the library book?" The girl seems proud of herself for knowing the word now.

"Like I said, somebody sliced up a guy. Maybe killed him." I have no idea what I'm talking about now. "That's the thing about the cell house library," I say, "it's a high-risk operation."

"Really?" a girl asks.

"Books are overdue," I explain, "they lock you up. They have a special cell for it. Overdue library book cell. If it's more than ten days overdue, they put you in the hole. Solitary confinement."

"No kidding?" the fat kid asks. I can see him fingering his library book, which I'm guessing is past due.

"Oh, yeah," I say. I'm starting to enjoy myself. "And you should see what happens when you forget to say please. Bread and water for an entire week. Forget thank you and it's even worse."

"Oh, come on!" somebody says.

"Forget to wash your hands before supper, they slap you in leg irons. Prison is a bad place, I'm telling you."

Scout it biting his lip, trying not to laugh. Most everyone knows I'm kidding, but one girl isn't too sure.

"On the other hand," I say, "we have the politest felons in America. They say please, thank you, pardon and excuse me. If you're going to be robbed or murdered, you really want a polite guy to do it. Somebody who offers you a chair and some milk and cookies first. It's kind of like being shot by your grandmother. Who wouldn't prefer that?"

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Ha! If parents could have a 'Time Out' island for kids, what would it look like? What would you call it? Be as creative as you like....


;-)