Thursday, April 16, 2009

New Blog


I have a new blog:

I did this because I feel there may be too much swearing, by all of you, embedded in these posts.




Okay, that's not it. I wanted a blogger address with my name. Plus I wanted a blog account to go with my new gmail address.

Hope to see you over there!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

There's Not Enough Room on the Road for the Two of Us

If you're ever driving in Dubai, here are some people to avoid:

1) At the top of the list are the British mums. Driving around in their huge-ass Japanese SUVs, a fag in one hand and a mobile in the other, nothing will keep them from High Tea. Just stay out of their way.

2) A close second are the Indians and Pakistanis driving the large construction vehicles. More than 70% of the vehicles in Dubai are construction vehicles, so this group wields tremendous power. They are imported for their ability to stay awake 18 hours behind the wheel. If you see one of them barrelling down on you, driving through red lights and over stop signs, just be smart. Stay out of their way.

3) Don't forget the Arab men here. Mostly from the U.A.E. and Saudi, they drive their Mercedes SUVs much the same way they drive their camels. In straight lines. Be smart. Stay out of their way.

4) Americans aren't so innocent, but are easy to spot with food sauce dripping from chin to shirt. Nothing will stop them once they're in the throes of a Big Mac attack. Dine at healthy locations, and you should be safe.

5) The Canadians may surprise you as being shitty drivers as well. Usually, they can be found in big American cars like trucks and jeeps. Canadian Cowboys. I have not figured out their fetish for the Old West out here in the desert. If you see maple leaf decorations on their vehicles, high-tail it out of their way.