Thursday, February 26, 2009

World's Largest Book

Excerpt from

The world’s largest book has been commissioned for the world’s tallest building, the Burj Dubai. The book, which will chronicle the construction of the Burj, will be 16ft tall and made of some of the world’s finest silk-threaded paper. It will first tour 15 cities around the world before becoming a centrepiece in the Burj and will tell the stories of over 100 people who worked on the tower.

The tome, which will cost more than dhs5.25 million has been commissioned from Kraken Opus, a UK-based company that specalises in manufacturing high-quality outsized books. The company previously completed a giant book on the history of Manchester United football club that was recently sold at auction for over £1 million (dhs5.25 million). Chief Executive Karl Fowler said that book would be accompanied by a print run of 750,000 giant books with covers measuring half a sqm. The paper will be threaded with silk, which helps the print and photo quality and the binding will be hand-stitched so that 98 per cent of the page surface can be seen by turning the page. “With cheaper binds, the book is bound so tightly that you have to press the page down to read the print. We use the best materials because it makes reading more pleasurable,” Fowler said.

The giant book’s pages will be turned using a giant paddle. Fowler said that the money spent on the project was justified, even during the economic downturn. “Some of Hollywood’s most lavish, expensive films were made during the Great Depression. People need escape. We’re not making the book just for the here and now, we’re making it so that it can be read 50 years from now.” The book will be released shortly after the Burj opens later this year.


Anybody think of a title for this book?


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'


Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.


Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I Need a Badge, Dammit!

My eyes are buggin' out of my head.

I'm done with editing, but not done with hyperventilating.

Last week, when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, I sent out three queries. Thought it would be great motivation to finish, which it was. I didn't want to get on the query train, but I did need this motivation (in addition to the koala smackdown). One came back a prompt 'no.'

Then the Hotmail server went down (at least for me.) Couldn't access email for 2 days (Stop before you laugh and imagine....) Then hotmail came back on--for an hour--just in time for me to see that an agent did request my ms.

But Hotmail is back down again.

Imagine if I hadn't seen that request? That days or even weeks went by, me not editing seriously and trying to avoid the koala.

So I've been at the computer for more hours than I can count, and I'm finished. I actually feel quite pleased with the story, and will get on that query train next week.

I'm also on Gmail now.

Gmail allows you to import contacts. But first I have to open Hotmail to retrieve them. ahem.

Will collect my luvvies one by one next week.

For now, I'm going to go stare at the television....

Sunday, February 8, 2009

In the Midst of Editing...

I will be visiting your houses, taking advantage of your hospitality and all the finer trimmings of life.

But over here, alas, the electricity will be off for a while, as I wordsmith some words, hoping to live up to the McChallenge of the Koala.

(Updated to include the graphic. I'm living up to the McChallenge, so I should have a cute koala over there with a low threat level, but I just LOVE this particular pic!)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Rabbit Hole Chronicle

I'm going to call my Dubai Chronicles "Rabbit Hole Chronicles" so I won't be googled for Dubai, but rather for rabbits.

Dubai Chronicle 17: Where are the Keys?

The airport parking lot is more crowded than ever these days. Seems expats looking for a quick way out leave their cars, with keys inside, at the airport parking lots.

They leave the keys in their houses as well.

It's like this. If somebody wants to purchase a house or car, then he has to write three years worth of postdated checks for the mortgage/note.

If the checks bounce because you don't have cash, you get thrown into prison.

Hey, even though this is Dubai, the prisons are still Middle Eastern style. Yanno.

Most of the prisoners are expats who have lost jobs and can't pay their mortgages.

These people are good reasons why anyone who loses their job in Dubai packs their suitcases and goes on vacation. Yeah! That's it. Vacation.

But, nobody is really saying that Dubai is in a recession.

Banks aren't giving loans anymore. You have to buy your houses in cash up front. Who has that kind of money? Well, aside from the Russian mafia. (The Russian mafia was referenced in an 'Oldie but Goodie' chronicle from last year.)

Dubai is just about broke.

But Abu Dhabi isn't.

That's all I know about cars being left at the airport.

As always, I'm a fiction writer, so I take gossip and second-hand news very seriously.

Have a great day.